I gave myself a night off last night and watched Twilight. I really didn’t hate it. Maybe it is my love of vampires but it was alright and the scenery was really spectacular. I had to read Twilight (the book) for my popular literature class and that was a really awful experience. The writing was so lifeless and repetitive and Bella was so incredibly desperate and clumsy. Edward had all the power and when they had to be separated for like 5mins her whole life fell apart and she didn’t know how she would survive. It was really pathetic stuff. What makes it worse is it has been praised by the conservatives in America as good for teenage girls to read because Bella and Edward don’t have sex. I am like seriously, would you really want your daughter to be so consumed by a man she loses any desires to have any goals of her own in life? I think I would rather she had sex. But in the movie all that stuff isn’t quite so obvious. It was perfectly fine meaningless activity, which I needed after a heavy week.

2 weeks, a fair bit of research and 3500 words to go and then I have finished. It looks like a mountain peak at the bottom of Mt Everest and it sure feel like that. Anyway a girls got to eat and so I had dinner with John French tonight. It was really nice to see him and the food was good. We had Korean and chatted about life and he filled me in on some of the Guatamala/wedding plans. I felt a little bit connected by having the chat.

I wish I could say something really profound now because my blogging will probably be put on hold a bit for study. It would be great if this post that will sit on footboot for awhile contained something illuminating and insightful but it doesn’t seem like it is going to happen. So goodnight lovely people.

Briiing, Briiing, buzz, buzz, knock, knock. Can I talk to you? Can I talk to you? Can I come in, come in, come in? I need a coffee, I’m cold. I need a shower. Do you have some money I could borrow? I really need some money, money honey, please.

“God damn it. I’m busy. Don’t you get it? I have a life.”

Breathe, breathe in and out, in and out. These people in front of you are people that you love. Their very vulnerability is what drew you to them in the first place. So why resent it now?

Aahh but I do have moments, resentment descends and I’m close enough for this to hurt. Tough love’s important but did I just make a mistake? Lucky my own vulnerability makes me love them more. I am not perfect so how can I expect them to be?

We are drawn to strength, love it, admire it. But lets let vulnerability awaken love as well.

(I wrote this in writing group. Don’t get me wrong, my work is generally great fun. But there are days when it stretches).

I am at home on a Friday night. Being good and not drinking. It is hard trying to relax sometimes but I pushed through the irritating feelings that descend and found some nice things to do. The cool thing was that I went on to facebook and discovered my friend was hosting “Club Thumpin” on the Gay and Lesbian radio station Joy 94.9. So I posted a commented on his status saying I had just tuned in and then he gave me and Andreana a real cool shout out.